


Precious Metals

by Nitrobot



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), Transformers: Prime
Genre: Angry dorito, Crossover, Gen, Welcome to the crackstation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 08:57:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7215994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nitrobot/pseuds/Nitrobot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another day on the Nemesis, another human artifact found lying in a corridor. But it's not exactly human, as Starscream discovers when he tries to pry the green gem out of it...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Precious Metals

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to dedicate this fic to natasha-kuryakin aka emmy for coming up with the title and getting me into this shit ~~YOU COULD HAVE STOPPED THIS~~

Megatron didn't exactly have a rule against taking souvenirs from the humans, especially with Knockout flashing a new set of wheel rims every other decacyle, yet Starscream still felt that flare of excitement in his spark, the one that cropped up whenever he was plotting some grand treason against the warlord, as he rolled the glittering artifact in his claws. Whether dropped by one of the vile Autobot children or just picked up by a random drone and lost again, Starscream only picked it up from the tiny nook in the hallway when he was certain it wasn't a trap, that the green stone set in it wasn't some kind of laser focus set to burn his optics out. 

It was tiny in relation to his palm, barely big enough for the tip of his talon, and if he'd tried to put it on he'd just end up slicing through the sliver of gold banding around it. But that curious green glimmer, like a clump of sour energon ore set in the metal, prompted him to do exactly that, carefully peeling the gold away so that the gem was free and surprisingly heavy in his claws. It was pretty, something that might be found embedded in a set of formal armour during Cybertron’s better days, but most likely useless to him other than as decoration. 

That was what he decided as he pulled it back from his optic, and just before it started shimmering in his hand.

“What the-?” He dropped it in shock, but light kept blooming bright from it like a forcefield, or some kind of supernova. His hand wasn't burned, but it trembled along with the rest of his frame as the corona blurred and smudged the air, forming into something the size and shape of a glittering human. And like most things he had to deal with, it was yelling at him.

“WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY LIMB ENHANCERS!?”

Sight was just about the only sense of Starscream’s that wasn't ringing in agony, and when his audios recovered he was staring down at… some kind of goblin, or other bipedal Earth creature. The gem he'd been studying was now lodged in her forehead, just under a huge triangular plume of hair and above a blazing visor similar to a Vehicon’s. 

“You… your _what_? Who are you?!” 

“You think you can just steal my stuff and seal me away in some kind of metal prison?!” Whatever she was (the thing sounded female, at least), she wasn't at all phased by the fact she was shorter than his knee, marching up to his leg to start pelting it with flailing green smacks.

“Hey, HEY, stop that at once!” Starscream hopped backwards on his heels but she just shifted forwards, each hit causing a harsh sting in his plating and not causing any harm to her hands despite how human and frail they looked. Even when he stabbed his heels into the ground the punches made him wobble. “I am Lord Starscream of the Decepticon army and I command you to stand down!”

“BITE ME, YOU METAL CLOD!” The green thing put the rest of her force behind a kick that left a deep dent in his shin, leaving him clutching it with hisses of pain while she found safety in an open vent set into the wall at ground level. Starscream snarled and knelt down to stare into the vent, watching the manic creature run down it on all four limbs.

“Come out of there this instant! Don't make me follow you in there!”

“Starscream, are you talking to yourself again?” Knockout's appearance was such a shock that Starscream slammed his helm on something as he snapped upright, as if he didn't have enough aches already. 

“I am doing no such thing!” he protested, rubbing the tender spot on his helm yet unable to soothe the pounding of his processor. “I'm… in the middle of dealing with a threat to Nemesis security!”

“Really, a credible threat able to fit into an air vent?” Knockout barely lifted an eyeridge to complement his sarcasm. He knelt down to replace Starscream, peering down the narrow space and giving himself a small chuckle before standing back up.

“What you're _actually_ dealing with is an alien species known simply as a gem,” he informed the scowling Seeker. “A Peridot, to be specific. I assume you found her in some kind of jewellery and ended up releasing her?”

Starscream’s wings twitched as his face started to burn, searing in his scowl even more permanently. “And just how do _you_ know so much about them?”

And Knockout wasted no time in making himself look smug and oh so punchable. “I took a few stellar trips through the cosmos before I enrolled in medical academy. And let's just say the Quartzses end to be _curious_ about other races-”

“Fascinating, Knockout, really, but I fail to see how any of that helps with me disarming this… this gremlin!” The last thing Starscream wanted was an account of the medic’s alien escapades, especially with anything like this Peridot. 

Knockout seemed disappointed at the opportunity being taken from him, his smugness faltering ever so slightly, but with the shrug afterwards it seemed to have not changed at all. “Well, a Peridot without her augments is hardly a threat.”

“That’s what _you_ think!” She reappeared in a different vent, this one above the mech’s heads, and she’d found a collection of dusty junk along the way to throw down at them. 

“Get back down here, you coward!” Starscream shrieked, waving a fist as a wrench barely missed slamming into his face. Peridot’s mocking giggle echoed all around them as she retreated into the vent, out of range of Starscream’s itchy claws. 

Knockout wisely stepped out of where the junk was able to land, and tried so hard not to roll his optics at Starscream’s failed methods. “Look, why not just boost yourself up and poof her back in her gemstone or something?”

Starscream abruptly stepped back from the vent, his claws forming sharp cages as his wings fell heavily, weighed down with shame. “I… I, well… she scares me.”

“You're kidding.”

“That much anger should not fit in such a tiny body!”

“I can hear you!” Peridot called out, oblivious to Starscream’s boiling anger and the internal field day Knockout was having at the Seeker’s expense.

“Fine, fine, once again I'll handle _your_ mistakes, Starscream.” Knockout shoved past him and stood right under the vent, folding his claws peacefully behind his back.

“You know, Miss Peridot, if you come down it will be much easier to hit us,” he suggested, almost daring Starscream to tear through part of his plating for putting the idea in her head. But before he could, Peridot’s head was poking out again slightly over the edge of the vent.

“...I suppose so.” And Starscream counted it as a miracle that she actually lowered herself to the ground and went a whole nanoklick without threatening either of them. There was still a lot of glaring behind that visor, but progress was progress.

“Now, what has Starscream done that's made you so upset?” Knockout asked, silencing a yelp of protest from the Seeker with a strategic shove of his chestplate.

Peridot pouted, pointing one of those painful fingers at him and almost making him flinch. “For one thing, he had those claws all over my gem! And he didn't apologise for it!”

“Understood. Starscream, apologise to her.”

“What?! Why should _I_ have to-?” Starscream’s scandalised mutter was once again silenced, this time by a crushing pressure suddenly being applied to his ped that didn't remove itself until he obediently groaned out, “I am sorry, Peridot, for any offence caused.”

Peridot huffed, but her gem stopped that ominous glowing at least. “That's better. Now you tell me what planet I'm on, and how I got here!”

“You're on Earth, madam, in the middle of a Cybertronian war,” Knockout explained, with the infinite patience of a medic who'd suffered thousands of ridiculous patients, most of them being Starscream himself. “And quite frankly, we have no idea how you ended up on our ship.”

And Starscream still mumbled to himself while cradling his abused leg. “ _I_ wasn't the one who put her in that damn trinket…” 

Peridot ignored both of them though as a strange trance seemed to grip her, her eyes wide and clear through the filter of her visor.

“Earth… of course!” She paced the short distance of the two mechs standing next to each other, doing dramatic arm gestures very similar to those Starscream liked to employ. “This was all an elaborate infiltration plan by Yellow Diamond! So I could check on the progress of the Cluster!”

“The what now?”

She paused so suddenly that she almost bowled over on the ground, turning to give them very Megatron-esque stares. “You imbeciles don't even know what's going to happen to this wretched planet? The Cluster is the doom of Earth buried in its core, the last act of revenge by the Diamond Authority!”

“I think she means Unicron,” Knockout said to Starscream in a very badly concealed whisper. 

“No I don't!” She thumped the floor and sent vibrations up to the mech’s peds, growling behind the clenched white gates of her teeth. “Obviously you two are nothing but useless clods, so I demand that you take me to your manager!”

In that moment, Knockout had a horrifying vision of there now being two Starscreams on board, this one much smaller and willing of violence. Not someone he was intent on introducing proudly to his leader. “I'm... not sure Megatron is someone you want to try diplomacy with.”

Peridot scoffed, as expected. “If my Diamond was interested in diplomacy, she would have sent someone useless like a Lapis! I'm here to get results, no matter what!”

Throughout her rant, Starscream’s sour demeanour seemed to evaporate, which was usually very very bad as it meant he was thinking of whatever it was that was making him smile down at her so sincerely. He’d obviously reached the same conclusion as Knockout.

“If that’s _really_ what you want, Miss Peridot, then we’d be more than happy to take you to Megatron,” he said in that manufactured silk tone, one that Peridot should have been smart enough not to trust. But the sudden change surprised her as much as it unnerved Knockout, and she kept a regal air as she clasped the guiding claw he offered to her. 

“That's more like it,” she said, throwing her head back like she was destined to be a Diamond all along as she let Starscream lead her to the Command Center. Knockout was still trying to decide if it was wise to follow.

**Author's Note:**

> Also I'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that Bayverse Starscream is commonly referred to as a dorito therefore he and Peridot might as well be canon dorito squad so peace out ✌


End file.
